8 years of war. 8 years of striving for peace

For most Ukrainians, February 24, 2022 became a kind of "watershed" between past and present life. With the beginning of the full-scale war of the Russian Federation against Ukraine, my life, like the lives of most Ukrainians, changed forever, taking away in the past a feeling of security, a certain comfort, confidence in the future and joy. Everything changed in an instant… In this existential war for our independence and our existence in this world, we began to live the future Day of our Victory. Every day, raising funds for the needs of our military, helping to find shelter and basic facilities for IDPs, working and rebuilding infrastructure or just flipping through the news, we consciously, with all our forces and thoughts, approach the Day of our victory over evil and darkness.

However, it is only now that many people are starting to realize that for millions of Ukrainians, this war began 8 years ago, with Russia's annexation of Crimea and the occupation of parts of eastern Ukraine. Millions of residents of Donetsk and Luhansk regions passed their first "point of no return" in 2014, with the beginning of the war in Donbass, when in an instant came the realization that as it was, will never be ... When in response to a smiling child face wrapped in a yellow and blue scarf, you saw the beastly grin of hatred, the thirst for blood and the poisonous eyes of others - it instantly turned your inner world upside down, forcing you to quickly analyse the situation and make appropriate decisions. Someone then for the first time crept in fear for family and friends, others moved from demonstrating a common position at pro-Ukrainian manifestations to confronting and fighting with weapons in their hands. We may not have fully realized then what "universal forces of evil" we were facing, but we intuitively already felt that the worst was yet to come. That the "black crow" has already made its prophecy, and these tests must be passed to prove that our values and faith are not empty words.

Each of the internally displaced people from the Easter Ukraine has their own day when he or she first left their home, their Donetsk, Luhansk ... For me it is June 5, 2014. It was on this day that my wife and I left Donetsk, which was not controlled anymore by the Ukrainian authorities. Almost 8 years ago - after many weeks of stress, tired of the constant danger and absurdity that quickly spread to the territory and the brains of people - my family and I left Donetsk, leaving everything in the former life. At that time, we did not know how many of these "new" lives we would have. At that time, it seemed to us that it was only for a few weeks (because there was a lot of work left at home), then it seemed that all this absurdity should end by the end of summer 2014 (because children have to go to school in Donetsk from September 1). 

A few more personal internal deadlines, which also quickly melted into a haze of unjustified expectations. An honest conversation with myself began much later, when it came to the realization that your home is where you are loved and where you have the opportunity to give love and care to your family and friends. Everything else is a connection to things, comfort and your own "ego".

For 8 years, my family and I have lived in Kyiv, trying to get rid of psychological trauma, settle in a new place and believe that one day we will be able to return to our Ukrainian Donetsk. In 2016, I started working at the Council of Europe Office in Ukraine, managing projects of the Venice Commission (European Commission for Democracy through Law) and working to ensure that our Ukrainian legislation complies with European principles, standards and best European practices. During this time, I began to paint and became an artist, so the pain and suffering of people who lost their homes were often reflected in my paintings.

On February 24, 2022, at 5 am, when we learned about the Russian invasion and the beginning of a full-scale war, the first thought that came to my mind was that "history repeats itself", we have already gone through it, but unlike 2014, this time everything will be different and we have to "pass this maturity exam."

Memories of the past and some traumatic experiences did not leave me and my wife much room for doubt and hesitation: during the first three hours after the war started, my family and I left for Lviv.

Being with my family in Lviv, I, like many others with a "sense of guilt" for those who remained in Kyiv and other "burning" cities, constantly asked myself: "What can I do to be useful, and where is my place in this war?" In search of my own effectiveness, establishing communication between the Council of Europe and Ukrainian stakeholders, working in Lviv with international journalists and training in the voluntary formation of the territorial defence community of Lviv, I was not going to deal with humanitarian issues. But when, on the one hand, you see the great desire of people to help others, and on the other, thousands of refugees who come to Lviv every day and need this help and basic things, how can you stay away? And whether you want to? Of course, you have to do something! After a few days of our moving in to Lviv, my wife and I were relocating people among friends and acquaintances, collecting and handing over things to those fleeing the war, meeting trains, and helping with transporting people. And every time I was asking myself, whether we are doing enough? And whether our rather modest activities make sense at a time when millions of people need help?… Then I was thinking about the descriptions to one of my paintings "Drop of the Universe":

"I am a drop in the ocean! I am part of our Folk, our Ukrainian Nation. And this connection unites me with the Soul of Ukraine, with all our ancestors who lived on this Earth, loved it, cared for it, protected and defended it…

Each drop is of great value: it preserves the holographic memory of the universe of all that has been, is and will be. But only together can we create a harmonious environment for our life and development. Together, billions of drops form a torrent and raise huge waves! And only together we create our common future!!! Each of us is a drop in our boundless Ocean !!! "

Life is about pain, and forgiveness always takes something, but it always gives something instead of the lost. A cruel but invaluable lesson in realizing that your home is not a point on the map, it is where you are loved and where you can give your love to others.

Of course, I believe that we will return both the "occupied people" and the occupied territories. As Don Juan said, everything that happens in a person's life is a matter of his inner strength, and the task of a warrior is to gradually accumulate this strength until a square centimetre of luck appears.

Even after moving to Kyiv in 2014, restoring my own "coordinate system" and faith in people, I personally formulated for myself those things that are not just relevant to me, but the realization of which I seek, in which I believed and continue to believe in view at the present stage of this war for our common future:

"I am convinced that after the end of the war and our victory over Russia - those regions and our people, who have long been under Russian occupation in the Crimea and Donbass, will quickly unite into a single Conciliar Ukraine. And first of all, people will unite these territories. People who will strive for a peaceful life, for the renewal of family relations, for the revival of all the best that has been in them… And I am absolutely sure that the universal values ​​promoted by the Council of Europe: democracy, human rights and the rule of law ​​will create the common foundation that will restore trust between people and restore a decent standard of living. 

The trauma of war in the human mind will not go anywhere - it will live in people for a long time, manifesting itself in various, sometimes terrible forms. However, this will give most people wisdom. Wisdom that will make the words "peace", "freedom", "dignity" and "human rights" a value that everyone will protect by word, deed, thought. Wisdom that will be a kind of safeguard and will constantly support the memory of how an unconscious attitude to own life and the lives of loved ones can quickly turn into a catastrophe for all. Wisdom that will not allow anyone to manipulate their own consciousness, and which can quickly distinguish between leaders (both others and their own) "pigeons" and "jackals". All this will lead to the desire of people to form a common reality and a common future, to organize themselves, to show initiative, creativity, to unite, to strive for change. In the end, this synergy of thoughts, aspirations, actions and results will "revive" people, the economy, the environment and Ukraine. 

I know for sure that every Ukrainian in Donetsk, Kyiv, Crimea, Lviv and Luhansk will live with a sense of self-worth, feeling that every day brings pleasant expectations and a joyful presentiment of happiness."