She chose the battlefield over the theatre: the incredible story of a Ukrainian mortarwoman

"It is always easy to say 'Ukraine will prevail,' though it is tough to make it happen. I see this with my own eyes every day, and I know how many of my brothers-in-arms and sisters-in-arms who are fighting for this statehood are no longer with us and never will be again. When they say heroes don't die, unfortunately, they do," says Nelli Chorba, who goes by the alias Monkey.

For Nelli, 22, a senior mortar battery gunner and mortar commander, theatre was her life until 24 February. It was full of intense rehearsals and university studies. After the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the only "stage" for her was the war zone, although everything is real there.

Before joining the Ukrainian army, she studied at the Kyiv National I. K. Karpenko-Kary Theatre, Cinema, and Television University. She dreamed of performing at Kyiv's Drama and Comedy Theatre on the Left Bank and did not even consider a military career when, suddenly, February 2022 changed her whole life.

Already a member of Ukraine’s Territorial Defence Forces, Nelli managed to get her first role and play in the narrative film Ukrainian War Stories. This is an anthology of films based on real events and shot in places of combat operations with the participation of active-duty military personnel.

After that, Nelli spent more than six months on the Soledar front in Ukraine's east, defending the northern Bakhmut district.

During this time, she managed to return to the capital for only ten days to graduate from the university, where she received a diploma as a theatre and film actress. From there, she was already rushing headlong to Sloviansk, ahead of the deadline, to her brothers-in-arms and sisters-in-arms, where her heart called her. And the ten-day visit to Kyiv, as Nelli said, remained "a fabulous, fun dream."

Stories about acting, firing a mortar, challenges with the strikes of Russian aircraft and endurance in this war through the eyes of Nelli "Monkey" Chorba come up next in the article by Ukrainska Pravda.Zhyttia.

"From morning till night, I cooked food and made tea, sandwiches and salads all the time. I was just dealing with the kitchen"

On 24 February 2022, Nelli did not sleep well and fell asleep in the early morning because she was as busy as a beaver working on her graduation performance on the eve of a large-scale war. That morning, it wasn't the explosions that she woke up to.

"It was my third year as a student when it all started. We were just working on our diploma thesis. And three or four days after February 24, I already became a volunteer in the 207th Battalion. At that moment, I knew that no one else would take me for any other position, and I was convinced that I would help as much as I could with my hands, whether it was about feeding people or making tea; I was ready to do that," says Monkey.

On the first day of their stay at the battalion headquarters, together with a friend, they replaced two girls who had continuously fed the soldiers for four days — two companies, reconnaissance groups, and a combat unit. 

"They take us there, everyone is staring at us, and Dasha and I are like two children, like monkeys.

From morning till night, I cooked food and made tea, sandwiches and salads all the time. I was just dealing with the kitchen," Nelli recalls working at the volunteer headquarters.

"Liutyi" in March, figures for humanities scholars and shooting

Monkey plunges into memories:

"I was so focused on what was happening in the country and on the outskirts of Kyiv, that I absolutely did not intend to start a relationship on the line of contact, but things turned out differently. It just so happened that a soldier from a reconnaissance group whom I had not met before, all geared up and with ammunition hanging all over him and who goes by the alias Liutyi (Fierce or February), noticed me. Then this alias seemed boring and funny because it all started in February. But it turned out that he got it back in 2014," Nelli laughs.  

Nelli's battalion was transferred to Kyiv Oblast in March 2022. Before that, the permanent deployment point was in the city of Kyiv. Then, Monkey was offered to take the oath and serve officially as a soldier. However, she ended up in a logistics platoon.

"While I was making sandwiches there and going out for smoke breaks, I knew that I wanted to be a part of this story; I didn't want to be a volunteer who would go back to normal life because life would never be normal again," Nelli adds.

The elated lady, whose military story did not end with cooking, left with her battalion for Kyiv Oblast and headed the food service.

"I was faced with the mathematical dilemma of calculating how much sugar, potatoes and pasta everyone needs. This went on day and night. I asked myself then whether I was a warrior. I took the oath to defend the motherland, and here I was, sitting with papers in some school and counting all this. Where was the result of my work? I tried to transfer to a combat company," she said.

Nelli wanted to be a shooter, and training with other soldiers would be useful for this purpose.

The following weeks passed like this: she cooked from morning till night in one company, and then she was on duty every other day, guarding a certain section of the border. At that time, she said, there were six girls in the company. Time passed, and the scene of combat actions in connection with the counteroffensive of Ukrainian troops during the autumn of 2022 shifted to the south and east, where the Armed Forces needed help the most.

"Since we were a unit of the Territorial Defence Forces based in Kyiv Oblast, we were in Kyiv Oblast until the last moment, but with the following months, it became clear that sooner or later we would go to Mykolaiv Oblast or the east," Nelli says.

"We've all been disbanded here, now we're mortarmen, okay?"

On the eve of leaving for the east, several companies of the Kyiv-based Territorial Defence Forces units were disbanded. At that time, some of the soldiers were able to negotiate a transfer with the commanders of other companies. The question of future service in the Armed Forces and the type of military activity also arose for Monkey, who was still in her battalion.
"At that moment, 20-year-old soldiers and I remained there. We trusted each other on an incredible level and couldn't split up, especially our group of five people," Nelli says.

Then, the long-awaited phone call from Nelli's brother-in-arms rang. A soldier from a mortar battery who went by the alias Spartak gladly agreed to accept all five of them to his unit.

"Spartak, look, I'm giving you five surnames, ranks, positions and first names. If you take all five of us and arrange the transfer with the battery commander, I guarantee you that it will be a good choice. Later, I saw a mortar for the first time in my life," Monkey confesses.

After approval from the battalion commander and the company commander, the soldiers began training as mortar operators in February 2023. The new experience became a discovery for Nelli, it seemed like something incredible to her.

"There are so many features here. While everything is clear and simple with an assault rifle, here you have a magnetic compass, mathematics, you have to find the arithmetic mean, and use a miner’s compass (a device used to orient guns, measure distance, and mark targets – ed.). When I thought that a mortarwoman was a good and safe option, I could not imagine how complicated the process was," she admits.

Nelli enjoyed the support of her beloved Lituy during the most difficult moments of training. He headed directly to the headquarters after leaving the hospital with his injury and filed a report saying that he did not need any treatment. He wanted to go to the east with Nelli’s group of five soldiers.

"There were people who wrote [reports – ed.] that they didn't want to go to the east because they had problems with their backs and legs, etc. Liutyi did the opposite; he went with us to the line of contact despite his arm being bandaged and several fingers not functioning. He wouldn't have had it any other way. How could he have let me go to the east without him? Everything was different here, it was a completely new story for me," Nelli says.

Lastly, there was a heartbreaking farewell to her mother.

"She was standing in the middle of the street, looking at me as I got into the car and watching me with a weeping look, holding a glass of unfinished coffee. There were civilians around, healthy and strong, all going about their daily routines. On 11 March, we were already in Sviatohirsk, in the east," Nelli recalls.

"Everything here changes 10 times a day, so you have to be ready to change your brother-in-arms at any moment"

Despite the general anxiety typical for military duty, Monkey was determined when she went to her position for the first time.

"At first, I took up a 120mm mortar, and performed the tasks I could: I passed the numbers to the mortar from the person who calculated and targeted the enemy, I put gunpowder on the mines – it was necessary to make the mine fly faster, and the additional gunpowder charge increased the maximum range. I also screwed in artillery fuzes – all this increases the chances of hitting the enemy," Nelli says.

Nelli spent the next months in this work routine: five days on combat positions and five days of rest at the permanent deployment point, where the situation was equally tense sometimes.

"Afterwards, I became a mortar commander, and then I was deployed with my brothers-in-arms Lucky and Liutyi to the position of the 82-mm mortar. It was closer to the occupiers because it was a smaller calibre. We drove an MT-LB (multi-purpose, lightly armoured towing vehicle) to the position because it was the only vehicle that could drive through the mud. In addition to mines and mortars, we also had our personal belongings and water, as we were supposed to be there for 10 days. These emotions are impossible to describe, as you realise that you could be killed anytime because of the loud movement of this iron thing," says Monkey.

She preferred to imagine her military routine as a "cool adventure" to take her mind off things.

"Lucky and Liutyi had no such optimism, while I was singing a song to myself, though only I could hear it, and I thought that I could not die without a smile on my face. So if anything were to happen on the way, I would pass away with a smile on my face," Nelli smiles.

Nelli recalls that none of the MT-LB's military crew knew the right way to the position, with their only guidance being the landscape and scorched patches of land.

"The guys shouted to Motor (the driver’s alias – ed.): 'Drive a little further, and we will decide what to do.' We drove for three or four minutes, and the guys saw a broken UAZ-452 vehicle in the middle of the forest belt where the position was located. By and by, we reached our destination. We had to quickly take out the boxes with ammunition, it was terribly uncomfortable. It was a unique experience: when you arrive, you start laying out the mortar, the miner’s compass and the Starlink. You are busy all the time, but you are happy about being alive every second, and it was so nice to realise that," Nelli says.

"I used to blame myself for being afraid"

Monkey shares her memories of working on some positions with hesitation. One of the most traumatic episodes was the work of mortar operators during a Russian aircraft attack.

"I had never been in this position before, but I was told that we had to be careful and especially attentive, and never let our guard down because of the Russians’ active work there. We drove up to a specific point and took out all our belongings, backpacks and water.

We were met by the guy whom we were supposed to replace, and he showed us the way. We started to walk towards the crossing and heard an alarming sound. Everyone thought it was an aircraft, but we just sped up our pace. A few seconds later, the aircraft fired nearby. I have to say that I was not afraid, but I saw fear in the eyes of our brother-in-arms. This look made my knees start to buckle. When the aircraft fired for the second time, we fell to the ground," Nelli recalls.

Nelli decided to speak to the battalion psychologist after returning from the position, as she had gone through a traumatic experience.

"We used to have a psychologist in our battalion, but then it turned out that battalions didn't need such a person and there was no such position on the personnel list, so the psychologist was removed," she shrugs. 

"But the issues remained the same, and I asked him at my most difficult moment when I was completely overwhelmed," Nelli adds.

The psychologist helped Monkey go back to military action and overcome the fear she had been blaming herself for after going to that fateful position.

"Anarchy"

Nelli will remember her 10 days at the position called Anarchy for a long time.

"After those days, I realised that I could do much more than I thought, I could be a mortar crew commander and I succeeded," she admits.

A Smerch MLRS was firing at our positions in those days, and every time one heard the sound of a projectile fired and a pile of earth raised in the air, the soldiers were happy to realise that they were alive.

Back then, the mortar crew's fire was adjusted by a fellow soldier who was flying a drone and went by the alias Paton. After several days of work, he stated: "Guys, on certain days, you worked better and more accurately than the experienced mortar operators."

Nelly admits that she has no regrets about her decision to leave the theatre stage and act beyond it. Moreover, the challenge of being under fire at the Anarchy position contributed to her confidence.

"And then I realised: I'm 22, I'm a girl, I'm still quite young, but I do it well. I'm not ashamed and I'm not afraid," Nelli summed up.

Anton Ishchuk, special for UP. Zhyttia.

Translation: Yuliia Kravchenko and Violetta Yurkiv

Editing: Myroslava Zavadska and Ivan Zhezhera